@ChiefTwittler: I like my women so intelligent that it takes me days to realize I was insulted.
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@BiIIMurray: I think abs are for guys that don’t have the confidence to wear a nice T-shirt to the pool.
@Quartzjixler: I was late so I shoved a whole taco into my mouth. It was a sight to behold based on the facial expression of the lady in the adjacent car.
@IcyAndSpicy: Saw a tweet about foods to help your sex life. I need sex to help my sex life, not food.