@OutrageousM: I like playing with my dog when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober.
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@AndyAsAdjective: The new employee manual at work mislabeled "casual Friday" as "cannibal Friday" & sadly we lost poor Dorothy before anyone could stop Fred.
@AndrewNadeau0: GREAT WHITE SHARK: *Jumps out of water & eats seal* JUST OK WHITE SHARK: *Frantically waves flipper to try & get seaweed off but can't*
@MAB1013: Fair warning....if you talk while I am counting cups of flour for a recipe, I will stab you with the knife I'm using to level them off.