@OutrageousM: I like playing with my dog when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober.
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@ifuseekamynow: 7: mommy can I play on your computer? Me: later 7: what do you mean by later? Me: I'm hoping you forget.
@LuvPug: I yelled "STOP EATING CAT TURDS OR IT WILL HURT WHEN YOU POOP!" & my dog stopped eating, so if you need a motivational speaker contact me
@Xoolun: Cops: Jay X? Me: Yes. Cops: Your dog has been reported to have chased someone on a bike. Me: Thats bullshit my dog doesnt have a bike.