@OutrageousM: I like playing with my dog when I'm high. Because I don't have one when I'm sober.
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@lloydrang: "I really thought by now we'd all have robots," he wrote, typing on a small device containing the sum of the world's knowledge.
@i_Lean: Studying abroad: Spending months in another country. Studying a broad: Spending months Facebook stalking Ashley.
@ojedge: [packing for holiday] WIFE: U don't have to only put suits in a suitcase ME: [putting underwear in briefcase] I don't make the rules Karen