@iGreenBabe: I like sleeping, it's like death without the commitment.
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@Jenn_H_Scott: My 8yo just asked my permission to say "shit" to express his anger, so don't tell me I'm not raising a polite kid.
@TheTweetOfGod: Sometimes sorry seems to be the hardest word, but usually it's antidisestablishmentarianism.
@3sunzzz: My personal trainer at the gym told me I need to start working on my upper body strength. I told him to just open the damn pickles and STFU.