@hayes_t_r: I like telling people I'm 4 months pregnant so they'll tell me how great I look.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KatieKatCubs: My dad just called because he was thinking of me & loves me. And THAT'S why I never danced on a pole. Well, that and I got too dizzy.
@flashember: Seize the day! by its legs and lock it in chains. Hold a mock trial, find the day guilty. Behead the day. Bury the day in a nameless grave.
@BubbleNuggets2u: I could've sworn there was less grunting and moaning the last time I put these pants on... Maybe the donut in my mouth muffled it