@hayes_t_r: I like telling people I'm 4 months pregnant so they'll tell me how great I look.
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@mattgallo123: <job interview> It says here on your resume that you are a "self-proclaimed man of few words." Would you like to elaborate on that? Me: no
@ThePocketJustin: As a fan of Dirty Dancing I can only hope that when we go on holiday one of my daughters sleeps with a middle aged dance instructor.
@sad_tree: [courtroom] Lawyer: If you didnt bite that surfers leg THEN WHO DID Shark: I'm telling you idk *whale in the audience opens a big newspaper*
@LuvPug: I'm 14 shows into the 1st season of 'Lost' & there are SO many mysteries. I sure hope someone finds out where Sawyer plugs in his flat iron