@andsarah2: I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.
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@danjan13: I'm on chapter two of the dictionary and this thing is just so disconnected. Like, what happened to the aardvark from the beginning?
@KeetPotato: [talking to my guide dog] this better be the hospital this time and not wimbledon again [from a nearby speaker] "FIFTEEN-LOVE"
@MikeOdenthal: i hate sex and have no libido but i still date because i love explaining to women why the music they like is bad