@FattMernandez: I like that they put Bibles in hotel rooms. You never know when you're going to run into a vampire who's on a road trip.
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@Mz_Cake_Vodka: My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" But I can't drive a bus.
@PsstCaptain: Teens today have it so easy. We didn't have self-checkout lanes when WE bought condoms.
@tat2dsoccermom: My boyfriend said he wanted me to be more affectionate, so now I have TWO boyfriends.