@Gennefer: I like the idea of almond milk, but then I can't get the image out of my head of someone milking a nut.
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@StellaRtwot: Make any conversation awkward by pulling out and starting a stopwatch without saying why you're doing it.
@Brampersandon_: [texting gf] February 13th "I think we should spend some time apart" February 15th "Ok that was enough time"
@curlymalloy: My boyfriend wakes me up when he wants to have sex... Do I wake him up when I want to buy shoes???... No!!!
@ThePocketJustin: Sheryl Crow: This ain't no disco. This ain't no country club either. Sheryl Crow - The world's worst archaeologist.