@julieklausner: I like the word funfetti because it takes confetti, which is used in somber occasions, like funerals, and it repurposes it for fun
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@sarcasm_inc: "2015 AND PETSMART STILL DOESN'T HAVE FITTING ROOMS," I say somewhat loudly as Fluffy has to try on sweaters right there in the aisle.
@OnceUponALiz: If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again.
@KayRants: If you send multiple one sentence texts, I will mail a raccoon to your face I'm not kidding.