@daddyville: I like the word "panties" so much I'm going to start using it in place of "cool." Friend: Check out my new car! Me: Oh man, that's panties.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bombsydoll: me: I know it's over, but can I have one last hug? Please? Him: *moves closer. stops & sniffs* omg are you covered in superglue?
@ibid78: [interview for CIA] Your résumé says you're a master in hand-to-hand wombat. Is that a typo or- *I've already thrown a wombat at his face*
@TFriss: If you watch Harry Potter backwards, Voldemort is really good at zapping people back to life and turning Harry into a baby.