@daddyville: I like the word "panties" so much I'm going to start using it in place of "cool." Friend: Check out my new car! Me: Oh man, that's panties.
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@Chumpstring: I'm my own worst enemy, but there are literally hundreds of people tied for second place.
@B1gBrainsMcGee: If you watch COPS backwards it's just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs
@BuckyIsotope: Joe Biden is in the White House kitchen right now licking every piece of silverware and putting them back in the drawer
@StarWarsProblms: Yoda: Clouded, your future is. Anakin: Are you smoking pot again? Yoda: Six cheeseburgers, I want.