@bourgeoisalien: I like this time of year because I can dig graves in my front yard and people think it's just a cute Halloween display
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@slimmy_shady: SIRI, CALL FOR HELP! Searching for kelp. OMGYOU IDIOT! SIRI, GET AN AMBULANCE! There are 23 listings for lap dance in your area.
@slyoung5: Have you ever noticed that Santa brings better gifts to the kids that have rich parents?