@Midgetspar: I like to ask girls if they wanna take a shower with me then hand them a ski mask and drive to Lowe's.
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@MrsGoose69: Me: Please can you get my iPad in the lounge? 5yr: I think you should poo without it. I just play with my fingers and sing and stuff...
@crushingbort: "daddy where do babies come from" "we just don't know, sweetie...*peers through blinds, the sky is dark with babies* "...we just don't know"