@Midgetspar: I like to ask girls if they wanna take a shower with me then hand them a ski mask and drive to Lowe's.
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@kwkorpi: Son hunted 4 part of our family dinner 2night! With steady nerve & calm focus, he tracked down the hot dog buns for us at the grocery store.
@TheWoodenslurpy: It sucks when something bad happens to someone you hate. Nobody will let you gloat. It’s like you can’t even enjoy your own joy.
@LunchJournals: "I'm a big fan of 50 cent. Or as he's known in Zimbabwe: four hundred million dollars."
@Cravin4: It was that very moment when we realized our shared love for multipurpose utensils brought us together & that's when the sporks flew.