@Midgetspar: I like to ask girls if they wanna take a shower with me then hand them a ski mask and drive to Lowe's.
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@BradBroaddus: It really creeps me out the way my neighbor stares at me when I'm looking through her window.
@BonaFideIntent: Have you ever met a person, & knew straight away that they were 'the one'? Yah. I had to take a restraining order out too.
@envydatropic: I will never have to admit to a mistake at work when I can blame the last person who quit