@sarcasticmommy4: I like to confuse my husband. So I smiled at him this morning.
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@DrFFurter: Women say they like tall men and I'm probably 6ft 4" in these stilettos and not a single girl in this bar has approached me yet!
@jimmy_boston: Wife: Did you get eggs? Me: pew pew Wife: Great lasers, so did you? Me: pew pew pew pew pee Wife: Why me god. Me: *barrel roll* pew pew
@OtherDanOBrien: ME: I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song?
@EndhooS: [Troy in the olden times] "WTF is that?" A wooden horse "It's not full of soldiers is it?" [from in horse] JUST TAKE IT INSIDE & HAVE A LOOK