@jasonlight73: I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word "hypothetically"
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@Colleen1913: Johnny Depps wife filed for divorce, thanks a lot Australia! This is why nice people don't visit you!
@QwertyJones3: Her: It's disgusting how many dirty habits you have. Me: THE NUNS PAY ME GOOD MONEY TO DO THIER LAUNDRY OK???
@JoParkerBear: [USPS] M: *hands change of address form* C: Ma'am, this just says "bathtub." M: I live there now. C: We can't send mail to a bathtub. M: Yay