@jasonlight73: I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word "hypothetically"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sofarrsogud: Me: Honey, I left work early to pick up the kids! Wife: But we d.. *I arrive into the kitchen with two small goats Meet Frank and Dolores
@TitansHomer: Wait. Those Nigerian girls are still missing?? What about that really cool hashtag we made? They didn't free them when they saw it??
@crunchenhanced: I like my women how I like my microwaved food. Hot as hell on the outside and cold as ice on the inside.
@dorsalstream: NASA CHIEF: No I said make a TIME machine. ME: Oh that makes much more sense. [Thousands of Tims nod in unison]