@AbbyHasIssues: I like to do laundry in stages. For example, right now I’m in denial that I should be doing laundry.
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@RealPrincessKim: Every teen trick-or-treating tonight got a handful of candy and a, "You must be heartbroken. I can't believe Justin Bieber died so young!"
@ehdannyboy: i have good and bad news Wife: Ok, the bad news? i didn't clean out the garage Wife:*sigh* the good news? [holds up cat dressed as Thor]
@Dani_Feld: What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich? What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth?