@AbbyHasIssues: I like to do laundry in stages. For example, right now I’m in denial that I should be doing laundry.
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@PaperWash: Back to Future II is so unrealistic not a single person takes a selfie or gets bullied on the internet
@Fred_Delicious: [Duck support group] "After i lost Barbara I was doing bread 5, maybe 6 times a day" *the other ducks nod sympathetically*
@jakob_huber: Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough
@DanMentos: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, palms are sweaty. he forgot his lyrics already, palms are sweaty