@AbbyHasIssues: I like to do laundry in stages. For example, right now I’m in denial that I should be doing laundry.
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@junejuly12: [First Date] Me: *licks corner of napkin* Me: *dabs at his cheek* Him: ............... Me: Sorry. Force of habit.
@WheelTod: [business meeting at restaurant] "There's more than one way to skin a cat" [Family of cats at next table] *mom cat puts paw on cat dad's arm
@zachreinert03: Saw a guy smoking while pumping gas & at first glance thought 'wow that's not safe' & at second glance thought 'wow that guy's on fire'