@AbbyHasIssues: I like to do laundry in stages. For example, right now I’m in denial that I should be doing laundry.
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@theroneman: [stacks of books on floor] Impressive, son. [son places pizza on one stack, soda & cookies on others] "Yep; perfect height" [turns on Xbox]
@djdarrellripley: Me: I need to know what your office drug policy is. Him: No drugs. Me: Got it... Do you consider the parking lot to be part of the office?
@kelkulus: Apparently on Facebook you can "like" that someone "liked" something. I just liked the movie "Inception", and now we wait.
@AlexvanBeek: Cats that run under your legs display the same genius as someone walking into traffic.