@JiminyKicksIt: I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it 'cuz it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
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@AndrewChamings: [first day as a celebrity chef] *Just a heartrending 40 minute montage of me struggling to get the potato masher out of the cutlery drawer*
@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches.
@Thynebear: *goes to watch youtube vid* BUFFER well okay *lifts weights* *checks again* BUFFER *does steroids* BUFFER "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME"
@Contwixt: If, by chance, I ever overthrow a government in an English speaking country, my first act as new leader will be to un-silence the p in coup.