@megankcomedy: I like to eat spaghetti with my hands so people don't even have to ask how I'm doing
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@SocialExtortion: How to pick up women: 1-approach beautiful lady 2-bend at the knees 3-lift gently 4-oh god she's screaming 5-put her down the cops are here
@chrisviccaro: You'd think old people would drive faster with the whole death thing creeping up on them and all.
@DiamondLou69: Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out that I'm just after my money.