@megankcomedy: I like to eat spaghetti with my hands so people don't even have to ask how I'm doing
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@novicefather: [interview] "I'm not sure your experience is sufficient for this position." me: Trump is president "Touché, you're hired"
@Jandalize: Be back in a few days. Gotta shave my legs for spring. But, before I go, what's the best way to sharpen hedge trimmers?
@TimmyPumpkin: *takes a sip* this wine has a full body, hint of honey, and a rich pallet. "sir that's windex." yes, yes, ill take a bottle.