@megankcomedy: I like to eat spaghetti with my hands so people don't even have to ask how I'm doing
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AGreaterMonster: I'm going to swallow a jack-in-the-box so that when they do an autopsy—BOING, surprise!
@ruinedpicnic: [puts scarf on snowman] Girl: to keep u warm Snowman: I am made of snow. G: omg you're alive! S: ok but lets get past that. are you stupid
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: As a descendant of Genghis Khan, I am more than comfortable on a horse! Kid: Mister, you have to put a quarter in for them to go around
@primawesome: Health food? Baby, my body is a '93 Honda hatchback with a headlight out. I'm not about to start putting premium gas in it now.