@Robert_Beau: I like to go on job interviews wearing an eye patch and switch eyes when the interviewer looks down.
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@CliffDuffy: Me: I must warn you, I'm like an animal in bed. Her: That's fine by me! *burrows under the covers and falls asleep at the foot of the bed*
@KingRainhead: Girl: I want bangs Me: I want a stylist to get my hair as close to antlers as possible. Make me look like a young prince of the wooded glen
@_Tempo11: Told my dog it's too cold to go for a walk and he just saw one from the window and now I'm a liar.