@AntozWolf: I like to hide condom wrappers in my married friends pockets.
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@TrueTorontoGirl: Boss: Have I made myself clear? Me: No, I can still see you. Boss: Shakes head.
@TeflonPawn: By the power vested in me by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.
@TheDairylandDon: Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: "Katherine Heigl movies."
@urgeekisshowing: I'm rockin the 'Barbie doll' look today. No, I didn't dye my hair blonde. I did 4 pushups and now I can't unbend my arms