@hurlarious: I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous
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@aaroncoal: I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night.
@PaulyPeligroso: Guys, if a girl just wants to "be friends," then borrow $100 from her and never pay her back. Like a "friend" would.
@Traceykemp8: If you`re not going to help me break into my ex`s house to delete the hysterical message i left on his answerphone,then you`re not my friend