@Ty_Schutz: I like to leave odd yelp reviews for fast food restaurants that say things like, "Not overly racist."
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@daemonic3: Sweetie, who is this bully stealing your pudding cup before school?!? "Mom, it's-" *dad makes throat slice gesture* "No one, Mom. No one"
@Brampersandon_: [Me]: What's a snowman's favorite drink? [Bartender]: idk [Me]: Brrrr-bon lol [Bartender]: ... [Me]: jk snowmen don't drink they aren't real
@causticbob: If you're using public transport never give up your seat to an old lady... That's how I lost my job as a bus driver.