@Ty_Schutz: I like to leave odd yelp reviews for fast food restaurants that say things like, "Not overly racist."
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@PaperWash: I was bit by a radio active spider so now I wear a rubber suit, swing around like a monkey and use karate, you know, like a spider.
@BlindChow: [In the beginning, God created the heavens and earth...] EARTH: yo GOD: what? EARTH: send nudes GOD: *creates Adam & Eve* EARTH: nice
@wittwitbarista: Ever notice how pathetically lonely you are when the person in the next bathroom stall completely ignores your knock knock joke?