@timdonakowski: I like to mute CNN and imagine they're arguing about what appetizer, or appetizers, to order at TGIFridays.
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@robfee: Everyone in horror movies: *loud scream* It was probably just the wind *a ghost flies across room* Just the wind *dog gets cut in half* Wind
@: Tired of not knowing if I should swipe my credit card, insert the chip or punch myself in the face.
@Phantasmagoriax: If you ever want to watch a women feel herself up for ten minutes, hide her cellphone.