@WalkingOutside: I like to pack a healthy lunch for work so that by 3 p.m. I'm ready to do unspeakable things for a piece of chocolate.
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@katiefzack: If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
@SatansTongue: *Filling out application* Sex: "no thanks" Well maybe I should write yes... I really need this job. You know what? Yeah sure I'll take sex.
@Brianhopecomedy: *presses wheelchair accessible button* *rolls 5 year old in on dolly restrained like Hannibal Lector* "We're here for a haircut."