@lazerdoov: I like to picture my mom in the middle of the crowd at a Wu Tang concert, hands on her hips, just shouting grammar corrections back at them
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@david8hughes: [drops son off for 1st day at daycare] "Ok, Mr Hughes, see you at 3 o'clock." "Not a chance. He's your problem now."
@clarkekant: One of the hardest parts of being a parent is discovering your 6 year old is better than you at every video game ever.
@InternetHippo: Pokémon Go has taught us that there's a disturbing number of dead bodies just laying around everywhere
@AnkCoupleTO: [almost at the moon] Buzz: *explosive diarrhea* DID YOU PUT SOMETHING IN THE TANG, ARMSTRONG? Neil: *steals speech out of his pocket* nope