@juliussharpe: I like to pretend I'm on "American Idol" by holding a piece of paper with a number on it and running out of a room like an idiot.
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@AtticusFinch79: 🎶I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair🎶 *tiny little man falls out of my hair with a gentle thud* Him: Is that a new shampoo?
@theshantilly: Him: You're pretty obnoxious. You know that? Me: I'm sorry. All I heard was pretty.
@Sassafrantz: [date] Me: Are you a serial killer? You have to tell me if you are. Him: That's a cop. Me: Changing the subject, just like a serial killer