@juliussharpe: I like to pretend I'm on "American Idol" by holding a piece of paper with a number on it and running out of a room like an idiot.
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@AGreaterMonster: The beauty of meditation is it helps instill inner peace in someone that makes it easy to pick his pockets.
@KenJennings: Rationally, I now understand that my parents were always Santa, but I still don't get how they made it to all those houses in one night.
@Playing_Dad: If a pregnant friend tells you what the kid's name will be just whisper "AND THE DARK LORD'S PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED." They love that.