@juliussharpe: I like to pretend I'm on "American Idol" by holding a piece of paper with a number on it and running out of a room like an idiot.
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@ClaytonSykes: If you're gonna offer free milk for coffee at a convenience store, don't get all weird when I bring in a dry bowl of cereal.
@david8hughes: "Dude, we should swap spacesuits. Just for a laugh." "Ha, yeah ok." [swaps suits] "Now we sh-" "You took a shit in this, didn't you?"
@highinamerica: Spell check changed "important" to "impotent" so basically I have a meeting in the morning that can't get it up.