@Awesome_Todd: I like to remind my kids who's boss by putting a cherry tomato on top of their ice cream sundaes every once in a while.
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@HeyZeus666: I got mugged in college by a gang of Asians. Two of them held me down and a third corrected my math homework before fleeing into the night.
@drinksmcgee: Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that.
@xofreckles: You mean 'idiosyncrasies' doesn't mean two or more idiots doing the same thing at the same time?
@FrogAvalanche: Hi, Id like to buy a Nutri-Bullet, pls. Salesperson: Ah, nice. Off on a cleanse or health kick? Yes. *imagines drinking lasagna* For sure.