@amydillon: I like to send little notes in my kid’s lunchbox, like “Sorry the Wheat Thins are stale, that’s what happens when you leave the box open.”
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@JermHimselfish: In spite of what you might have heard, some pretty magical things happen behind dirty dumpsters in shady alleys.
@heatherlou_: Having one bathroom in your house teaches you that it is possible to hate a person because of a bathroom.
@Brianhopecomedy: I'm teaching my 2 year old about currency so I can figure out what coin she just swallowed.