@Chumpstring: I like to shit with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
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@Smooheed: 'Sorry officer but how was I to know that weird noise my car was making was a bicycle stuck in my mudflap?'
@WheelTod: For most, bikini season lasts a few short summer months, but I catch enough & store them so efficiently I can eat bikini all year round.
@SocialustGal13: There are 2 kinds of people: 1) Happy morning people 2) Cranky morning people that fantasize about killing the happy morning people
@causticbob: what's the medical term for a female-to-male gender reassignment surgery? an addadictomy