@poutinesmoothie: I like to sing Mambo No. 5 but replace the names of the women with various types of cheese.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ericsshadow: [talking to life insurance agent] Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money? No thanks.
@mikealfredcaine: my grandad came to this country with four pounds in his pocket, my nan was holding a suitcase full of cash & heroin
@InternetHippo: What should we call this portable computer? SOME GUY: Laptop [everyone applauds…w/ tears in my eyes i crumple a paper that says Kneeputer]