@big_1_Otis: I like to sit on my hands until they go numb so it feels like somebody else is doing my dishes.
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@causticbob: Burglars broke into Kanye West's home. As a result, 500 statues of Kanye West are missing.
@huntigula: psychic: [sees guy in crowd w/ a pony tail] Sir did u know a Chad? "yes" From karate? "YES" Chad wants u to know he's ok *guy starts crying*