@1Happytwit: I like to skip when I'm carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.
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@toastymoe: The longest 30 seconds of your life happen when you shut the router off to reset the WiFi
@NickMotown: To back up his "every action has an equal and opposite reaction" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying "no it doesn't"
@jordan_stratton: *makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite.