@gobmentcheese: I like to stand next to a stranger on the elevator and whisper, "I read what you said on the internet."
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@Parker_Simpson: I must be getting old...my urine flow sounds like a drippy leak in an old abandoned factory
@hello_saylor: Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, "Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"
@markleggett: Companies want "rockstar" employees, as rockstars are known for punctuality, even-tempers, and a desire to work in a corporate environment.
@kevinseccia: The Flash is lucky because he can run real fast but also because he lives in a world where every problem can be solved by running real fast.