@CarpentersCrack: I like to stop drinking somewhere between "watch this" and "ohhhhhh shit".
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@jessokfine: I'm like the lemon seed that sinks to the bottom of your water glass and then shoots up your straw unexpectedly, trying to choke you.
@RidiculousSheri: I accidentally kicked my cat off of the bed while adjusting my blankets. Now he's in the corner sadly humming a Sarah McLachlan song.