@CarpentersCrack: I like to stop drinking somewhere between "watch this" and "ohhhhhh shit".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CantWaitToNap: When a cop gently helps you in his car, promises you an overnighter & talks about bonding, he isn't taking you on a date... I know this now.
@Dutch_50: The picture heading read “Panorama!” I thought it said “Paranormal” I wasted hours staring at these elongated images looking for ghosts.
@envydatropic: 75% of parenting is taking their keys to punish them And giving them back because they're driving you crazy
@better_off_dad: 12: I hate school. Me: Hey! Perk up! Years from now you'll look back on this as the best time of your life! 12: Now you're just being mean