@CarpentersCrack: I like to stop drinking somewhere between "watch this" and "ohhhhhh shit".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@just1fool: Most of my life consists of trying to keep up with what's not cool so I can be sure to avoid any small talk.
@markydoodoo: The closest I get to exercising is when I trip on the sidewalk and pretend jog for like 10 feet.
@WheelTod: Yesterday I watched Rogue One, featuring a cameo from Carrie Fisher. One hour later she was dead. So today I'll be watching Home Alone 2.
@therealeatwood: I’m usually more of a Samantha but sometimes I am such a Carrie, like when a bucket of blood got dumped on my head at prom