@Importantest: I like to switch browsers as often as possible. They all prompt to make them the default browser. It feels nice to be fought over.
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@chris_witha_see: That moment of panic when you realize you haven't checked on your Farmville in like 6 years
@dafloydsta: Little Red Riding Hood is my favorite story about an idiot who can't tell the difference between a human and a wolf.
@Cait_Plus_Eight: Your ex asking if you can still be friends is like kidnappers saying "keep in touch" after they let you go.
@Reverend_Scott: [blind date] (don't let her know ur a dog walker) "So what do u do?" Well, I'm like a- [13 dogs jump up on the table and eat her dinner]