@lakeanagirl: I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces
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@thentherewasmo: I'm not saying your cat doesn't care about you, I'm saying if Lassie was a cat, Timmy would still be in that well
@Schmoodles: It's easier to travel back in time and stop yourself from being born than it is to delete your Facebook account.
@ItsAndyRyan: DRIVING ON HIGHWAY Wife: You just missed a right. Me: Thanks babe – you just MRS right.