@CorkyKneivel: I loathe tweets like "Be somebody's beautiful tragedy". Might as well tweet using a random word generator. "Be golf brisket honkytonk"

@Ygrene: At my funeral, please make my dead body do the ‘walking down stairs behind a couch’ into the grave

@Lisa_Laughs_: You know who brings a knife to a gun fight? Cannibals. And also a fork.

@BDGarp: Her: Are you even capable of love? Me: I’m pretty sure I love pancakes.

@RobDenBleyker: Margaret Thatcher died?? And more importantly, Margaret Thatcher was still alive??!!