@RandiLawson: I like to think of myself not so much as a terrible driver, but an awesome stunt woman.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_Tempo11: I buy reverse osmosis filtered alkaline water for my dog and he prefers to drink out of the lake.
@RidiculousSheri: My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I'm the racecar, sometimes I'm the iron. But usually I'm a peanut because I've lost all the game pieces.
@RoosterMustache: ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you