@RandiLawson: I like to think of myself not so much as a terrible driver, but an awesome stunt woman.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@NikkiGlaser: What if ISIS started claiming responsibility for nice things like when my mom says, "who emptied the dishwasher?!"
@zachreinert03: In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties
@UnicornSyrup: Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.