@JohnLyonTweets: I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
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@SharpeBytes: It's so cute how you think wearing that cross around your neck exempts you from being a reasonable human being
@BetteMidler: Congratulations to Janet Jackson for having a baby at age 50! When I was 50, I wasn’t even strong enough to push a child out of my way.
@Michael_Erhart: Person: "That's a beautiful baby." Me: "Thanks, I named him after his grandpa." Person: "Awe, what's his name?" Me: "Grandpa."
@PastorBate: I've been washing my hair with Ranch dressing for 13 years because the bottle doesn't say not to do that.