@JohnLyonTweets: I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
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@El_nacho_Nigre: Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art? Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"
@Underchilde: Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
@jazmasta: "That'll be $15.99 please" "Do you take giant revolving badgers?" *cashier grabs me by the throat* "We ONLY take giant revolving badgers"