@ohJuliatweets: I like Triscuits because sometimes you just want to eat a wicker basket.
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@DaveWeasel: If you don't like the way you look naked, remember; by the time you have your clothes off, its the other person's problem.
@Dorkstress: Cop: Ma'am, what's in the bottle? Me: Just some water. Cop: Ma'am that's wine... Me: Jesus did it again!!
@TheToddWilliams: Wife: I'm glad you're watching TLC and looking to improve yourself. So who are your new friends? Husband: These would be your Sister Wives