@MrsTomServo: I like when a restaurant has cloth napkins, 'cause then I can unroll them with the calculated fervor of an assassin surveying his tools.
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@duplicitron: I heard that processed meats are just as bad for you as cigarettes so I'm walking around smoking a hot dog looking cool as hell.
@hippieswordfish: WANTED: ladder. must be in working condition. bring it by 5134 parker st, it's the big yellow house with a guy on the roof
@rickygervais: RIP Ronaldo's Moth. The world's most famous footballing insect has died after a long and illustrious career. He was 6 weeks old.
@ch000ch: mom: brush your teeth and put on your pajamas me: mom i'm a grown man. i don't need u telling me how to get ready for story time.