@curlycomedy: I like when players of opposite teams hug after the game as if to say, "We're all so very, very rich."
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@EliTerry: Sometimes if I trip on a crack I act like it's no biggie by breaking into a jog and don't stop until I'm in a new city with a new life.
@krustythe_klown: Whenever I miss my ex I think about the things I didnt like about him... Like his hairy behind and his wife.
@imchriskelly: I have complicated opinions on the death penalty. I think it’s wrong but I also think that owners of cash-only establishments should get it.