@curlycomedy: I like when players of opposite teams hug after the game as if to say, "We're all so very, very rich."
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@cornlog: So rude of Ashton Kutcher to file divorce papers right before Demi Moore's 150th birthday.
@TeaPartyCat: BREAKING: Hillary Clinton concedes election to Donald Trump, saying “I just can’t see how I can win after Scott Baio endorsed Trump.”
@MarcusTheToken: I left some acorns in the spot where I killed a squirrel because I'm thoughtful. Also because a gang of squirrels burned a cross in my yard.