@ryan9billion: I liked watching squirrel soap operas unfold in my backyard right up until the damn neighbor cat murdered all the actors.
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@TheBigBatman: I mean I married my wife for her looks, but not the dirty ones she's been giving me lately.
@Diane_7A: Twitter has no plot, millions of characters, & it never ends. Basically, it's a "Hobbit" movie.
@SlabBaconBP: I find that the secret to not being insecure is to just be better than everybody at everything while being incredibly good looking.
@Just_Lee_: Don't say you love me unless you have bought me a miniature donkey. Without the donkey, they are just empty, meaningless words.