@SCbchbum: I listen to Ed Sheeran in the same way I stuff an entire cupcake in my mouth over the sink hoping no one will see.
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@blade_funner: *slips $5 to the mortician* Me: How about - stop screaming - how about you give me another 10 minutes, this is a great place to nap.
@fro_vo: ENTER PASSWORD password YOUR PASSWORD IS TOO LITERAL PLEASE TRY AGAIN again ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW
@BastardProphet: Me: I am become death. Destroyer of worlds. Her: Will you please just spray the hornets' nest? Me: K.
@nice_mustard: what if you thought you had met your soul mate but then you saw them put mayonnaise on a hotdog