@TheTweetOfGod: I listen to your prayers, but only to correct their grammar.
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@rohmontgomery: I am upset with my parents for making me exist. u just decided to make a person one day? who's gonna pay my bills? me? I didn't ask for this
@Coolisiana: INTERVIEWER: What do you see as your biggest weakness? ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself
@mantej: Haters gonna hate. Tweeters gonna tweet. It’s actually pretty obvious that verbs are performed by their respective nouns.
@WheelTod: [Stick Insects Anonymous] Group Leader: "There's no easy way of saying this. But I believe one of you may be a plant."