@StellaRtwot: I lit candles & put a trail of rose petals all over the house in confusing patterns so my husband can't find me drinking in the closet.
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@WritePlay: this one has claws This one swims but can't fly This one is huge & runs funny This one bangs his head against trees - god making birds
@Bearslietoo: There is no "i" in "team," but there is a lot of "alcohol" in my "fridge" because I enjoy abusing my liver.
@Social_Mime: This guy poured his box of raisinets directly into his bag of popcorn at the movie counter. After my initial shock I bowed to him.
@david8hughes: [board meeting] "So Mr Parachute do you have a name for your invention?" "I call it the 'Makes the Ground Come at You a Bit Slower'." "No."