@StellaRtwot: I lit candles & put a trail of rose petals all over the house in confusing patterns so my husband can't find me drinking in the closet.
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@CallMeDraper: Bath time without my phone: 10 minutes Bath time with my phone: 45 minutes 75 retweets 1 wrinkly baby
@daemonic3: Are you there God? It's me, Margaret. YES MY CHILD Great! Amway is the largest multi-level marketing company worldwide. Our products range
@WheelTod: [Lying on the grass, staring at the full moon] Her: You looked different in your profile picture. Werewolf: I forgot to check the calendar