@spencerbakes: "I literally died." - white girls in heaven.
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@david8hughes: Therapist: what was it like growing up? Me: I just [reaches for tissues] kept getting taller.
@dreamthievin: I like to imagine Supreme Court is just like regular court but with tomatoes and sour cream.
@_davidsc: Rememeber when Uruguay fans got angry at Paul Dummett for injuring Suarez & then used Google Translate to insult him
@lil_dead_girl_: I compulsively open my refrigerator in hopes that the portal to the other world has opened up. It hasn't so I had some cheese.