@librarianfonz: I literally use figuratively in literally every occasion where I am literally speaking figuratively.
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@StephanieOKC: Someone needs to tell Madonna you can't call it "Girls Gone Wild" when you're a 100.
@astutenewf: When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.
@Versacheetos: Kim - Where is North West? Kanye - *takes out compass* Kim - I mean my baby! Kanye - I'm right here. Kim - Jesus Kanye! Kanye - Yeezus*
@joeljeffrey: I hate when I lose an argument and then seventeen years later I think up a witty come back.