@Crunch11b: I live 30 feet from my mother-in-law, Hell holds no surprises.
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@rockymomax: DATE: this bread is dry. you should talk to the manager ME: ok *waves over manager* MANAGER: can I help you? ME: tell her to shut up about the bread
@topaz_kell: The good news about falling down the stairs is that my Fitbit counted it as a mile walk.
@HairyJew4Life: Filing taxes is so depressing. Do you own a home? No. Have a spouse? Not even close. Kids? Not that I know of. Enjoy your refund, loser
@IAmMikeFeeney: The first thing I'm going to do when I'm rich is buy an airline flight for everyone who works at the DMV and then delay the flight forever.