@QwertyJones3: I live in fear of my kids going outside when it's raining, because they could get wet and multiply.
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@jordan_stratton: Whenever you're feeling inadequate, remember: You know more about medicine than legitimate doctors during the civil war did.
@Your_Boy_Dylan: How did girls text before emojis? Hey I can't wait to see you tonight! PARTY HAT MARTINI GLASS NOISEMAKER BEER MUG CAT DOG SUNGLASSES POOP
@MythicPicnic: Home alone tonight The fridge is making weird noises I think the beer wants out....
@Halbeerz: "So You've Been Drinking and Think You Can Dance" now that's a reality show I would watch.