@tastefactory: I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up.
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@iamspacegirl: In the middle of a GOP debate, Scooby and the gang suddenly rush the stage. They wrestle Trump to the ground, struggling to remove his face.
@Home_Halfway: WAITER:What would you like? ME:What would YOU like? W:Excuse me? M:No one ever asks you, do they? W:*tearing up* No.. they don't. Thank you.
@GrowlyGrego: "I...I don't know, doc. I guess I'm just tired of being pushed around all the time." -Revolving Doors
@TheTweetOfGod: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." - A man who owned other men.