@tastefactory: I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up.
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@dorkwing_duck: Me: how long are you gonna sit there picking your nose? I tried to be polite but this is absurd Potato Head: I want to look good on my date
@burntmybagel: My chiropractor told me I have to stop using air quotes when I call him "doctor."
@ShaunNaNaD: I'm pretty sure I have all of those countless hours spent playing Tetris to thank for my mad dishwasher loading skills.