@DanLaMorte: I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them
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@CraigChamberlin: Me: "You didn't tell me that." Them: "Yes I did, four times while you were staring at your phone." Me (looks up): "I'm sorry, what?"
@Xalqee: If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
@joeljeffrey: I have a stalker now and it's super creepy. She shows up wherever I go... her house, her job, the women's restroom. I don't know what to do.
@TheBoydP: Four Worst Feelings Ever: 4. Losing your job 3. Romantic break up 2. Death of a loved one 1. Needing to pee when you're stuck in traffic