@DanLaMorte: I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them
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@zwina_summer: Nothing makes me scream louder during sex than when my husband calls to let me know he's on his way home from work.
@kevinrowe1: Take it from me. Your wife will not like it if you say, "My twitter girls would do that"
@DurtMcHurtt: The car you buy should say something about you, and not just ramble on about itself like you're not even there.
@DirtMcTurd: A man started choking in the line at Wendys today. Luckily the manager jumped into action... And opened another register